A dusting of my past

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My name is Dezarae’. i am originally from Hutchinson, Kansas. i joined the military at 17 served 4 1/2 years. The military itself was not bad, but i delt with alot concerning people in the military. I taught myself to crochet when i was twelve, havent done much until late 2008. When i crochet and knit it makes me feel like i belong to something. Its the one thing in my life that i can fix if i mess it up. I am working on slowly starting up a business which will be called Making Traditions. Making Traditions is a store for all ages and all sexes. You can learn anything from needlepoint, spinning fibers, crochet, knitting, canning, cooking, baking, vegetable gardening tips, sewing, Quilting, preserving, and freezing. Along with being a one stop shop for all these categories. The motto of my business is “making yesterday’s talents, today’s traditions”. My goal is to find a link between the past and the present to bring families of all generations together. while also providing skills which will come in handy for the rest of one’s life.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Please follow my craft blog!

Please check out this blog and feel free to tell me what you think.


Lots of love! - me.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Fall Leaf hotpad

Hello everyone. Today i am going to talk about a pattern written by Susan Lowman. She is very talented and writes amazing pattens in "wiggly" crochet. This is the 2nd hotpad of her that I am doing. the first one was a watermelon hotpad.

I am in a pot holder swap through ravelry. I am taking the opportunity to do this swap and to focus on new skills. If you have a ravelry, feel free to add me, my ID is haleyjune102005.

To view the Watermelon hotpad i have completed, visit this link. if you have any problems viewing, please let me know. :)

You may also view my progress on the fall leaf hotpad by visiting here.

Wiggly crochet is defined by adding a ruffle to a open mesh or a basic mesh. I found this

Now after working on the watermelon hotpad, i found it easier to put 10 Double crochet on each bar instead of 5 on the bar and 5 in the corner. This is my own personal preference. But i can not tell the difference in the finished product. Feel free to comment and ask questions. I absolutely love these patterns. I am thinking about writing the designer and telling her she needs to make some grape ones... I need some for my kitchen :D

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Making Traditions ...

Have you ever busted a button off of your clothes, broke a zipper off of a pair of pants, or just irritated of high food costs? I can help you save your money and clothes. My name is Dezarae’ Haley and I teach self-sufficiency in an ever changing world & times, and teach habits we all can do to live a better life when times get tough, or even if they don’t.

What I am purposing is a place named Making Traditions where men and women alike can go to learn and easily find supplies. I have overheard people in the grocery store how ridiculous the prices are. I have been approached by people around the world on how to sew, knit or crochet so they too can make their own clothes. I have witnessed the disappointment in major chains like Wal-Mart, about the lack of supplies. I can help by teaching in canning, soap making, sewing, fiber-arts, and needlepoint. Along with teaching both in person, and through online video packages, I will also be selling retail in the related areas as well. The closest Competition is 20 miles away.
Customers who are interested in Making Traditions consist of low to middle class adults (age 18 to 40) who are interested in learning ways to save money by becoming self sufficient.

Being a knit and crochet instructor, I have taught students as young as the age of seven to adults older than my grandparents. I work diligently with Cyndi Muller who is a long time instructor and self-sufficient advocate.
My business will be located in the Dixon-Amboy area of Northern Illinois. The population of that particular area is approximately 122 thousand. Making Traditions also takes great pride in trying to stay as much american made as possible.

Now you may be wondering how much it is going to cost to get my company up and running. Through my research, I strongly believe I can have a successful online and home based business up and running with the amount of $25K. The return rate of the investment is that it will be paid in full within two years plus an additional 15%. This money along with my personal money I have invested will be used to cover the startup fees, startup inventory, as well as marketing.
I am anticipating having Making Traditions off the ground and running by summer 2011.

If there are any investors interested in helping me get started, please do not hesitate to email me at HaleyJune102005@gmail.com

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Random thoughts of nothing.

I usually like to write blogs when i have something really sticking out in my mind, It makes it easier for the passion to flow through my fingertips. Today, I have no idea what i am going to talk about or how i am going to approach it.

i suppose that the first thing that is on my mind is my 2 year old son Demetrius's third open heart surgery. It is officially scheduled for September 13, 2010. Although it is scary, I know that he will be just fine. He is very healthy for being a cardiac baby. Right now, at this very moment he is trying to steal my television remotes. he is getting mad because i keep moving them.

*after a short break*

Okay, i am back, had to get my 2 year old distracted with some noise maker toys.

I have been working on my studies for the Entrepreneurship Bootcamp for Veterans with disabilities program. Isnt it funny how no matter how hard you try to put your dreams last, they have a way of pushing their way through! I feel like this is god's way of telling me to do it! I had to submit a resume, two referral letters and do an interview for this program. I finish the online portion around Aug 25th. Then Aug 28th, i will be going to indiana to purdue university for the 2nd part of this program. I need 5 formal business outfits. I am nervous but i know that only good can come out of it.

Now for the 9 days that i am in indiana, i have asked soooo many people to help watch the kids while my husband is at work. It makes me want to pull out my hair sometimes on how much i feel like i have to beg for help. Sometimes I just wish that I had my family within driving distance, They would drop on a dime to help me out. I dont ask for help often. I guess sometimes i am still getting used to being in a family i wasnt born into.

On the other hand, I am very appreciative to my in-laws. Over the last 4 years I feel like I am starting to grow on them :P.

Sometimes it is easy to feel like life has a hold of me Im just twisting and turning with every curve it throws at me. The question often reigns in my head, "When Do i get to control my life?" I mean, I know every decision i have made in my life is what has brought me to this point in time. But when do i get to go left because i wanted to go left?

When do i get to feel like a beautiful, confidant, independent woman again? What happened to me?

Well, My show is on, and my little terror is back. So i am going to get off of here for now.

God Bless

Friday, May 28, 2010

The greater good VS the Greatest Good

For the last three years, It has been a dream of mine to start a business that will help people become more self sufficient. I would sell and teach all the needle arts, fiber arts, and the basics of cooking, baking, canning, and freezing.

Before my husband, I had a full time job, where i always worked overtime hours but never the pay. I was in the Army. Since i have been married and have had children, i have been a stay at home mom. It would cost us about 350 dollars a week in day care so it is cheaper for me to stay at home. I am very blessed.

Recently I have came to the realization that my dream of owning my own business can wait until my children are grown. They are so little right now and I dont need to be stressing myself out with things i dont have to be stressed out about. I have chosen to put my dream on hold and to fullfill my dream of making my family self sufficient and not have to rely on other countries doing my work. I want to buy american made, and can my own food, sew my kids's clothes, learn to be completely self sufficiant. I want to go to every single concert and game my children ever have. One day i want to take my boy's back packing through europe. So I have decided I am no longer making things for other people, but rather taking my time and putting my home, husband, and children first. I take the time to make something for someone upon their request then because they are a friend i charge 1/4 of the price just to have them back out and pretty much, I waisted my time. So for now on it is my kids and family first.

My dream is still there, but i have come to the realization how lucky i am and how i need to do what i need to do to keep my family well off. and lets face it, crafts are EXPENSIVE! lol.

My birthday is next month, and my husband has so kindly purchased me a kromski Minstrel spinning wheel. I am still learning, but one day i will be great. My youngest son will be two in july, and my oldest son will be 4 in october.

Friday, April 23, 2010

The unspoken day of a mother

It is so amazing to be a mother, The joy that fills a child when they learn something new is also the joy that feels a parent. People, weather they are single or do not tend to the kids 24 hours a day 7 days a week, Can not even begin to fathom the mental and emotional stress involved with being an "at home" mom.

Every day one wakes up is always a surprise. Sometimes I am greeted with screaming. Why? No idea. But my oldest son who is 3 1/2 loves to just scream, cry, and whine. The result of this annoying behavior is the waking of my other son. Who is then clingy and Screams if i put him down. Then the jealousy kicks in. Jaden, my oldest, then wants me to pick him up as well. Both of my kids are around 30 lbs each, and people say i dont do physical labor!

On a good day, The kids dont get up until the clock reads between 730 and 830am. Jaden will greet me in the basement with a "good morning mommy" then he will come snuggle with me. Once i hear Demetrius talking to himself in his room, i know that my youngest is now awake. I gather up the kids, set them at the table, and feed them breakfast.

Demetrius is a BIG mama's boy. So he is pretty much attatched to my hip. Which is nice, but sucks when you are trying to get the cleaning done.

Cleaning, Now this is a whole other story. I GET IT, The expectation put on me for the house is not a speck of dust on the floor, All children toys must stay in the basement, ABSOLUTELY no shoes in the house. No dishes in the sink, No hand prints on the glass, Not a piece of evidence that anyone lives there.

So guess what, I fail to meet these expectations every day. With children walking at my feet and attatched to my hip, to the point i cant take a shower without kids, or take a bathroom break without kids, It is no wonder I can not meet the expectations.

Spring is here, FINALLY! So now it is gardening time. I try to spend at least 2 hours outside a day. This time period allows the children to play and mommy to work in the garden.

When we do go outside, This is another whole ballgame. My clingy boys are not so clingy anymore. One may be jumping on a bike for a stroll, while the other is wondering through the neighbor's yard in no time. So then i go to chase down the one that is wondering.... usually demetrius... me leaving the property results in our dog following me. Doesnt matter how many times I say "JAKE STAY" he waits until my back is turned and runs full speed ahead, this in result, gets the neighbor's dogs excited. so then I am fighting the dog and the child. And people think I dont do physical work!

Now it is time to come inside, The mess from lunch is still usually on the counter because i cannot stay inside and clean and leave my children outside. So i have to leave the mess until i am greeted with it when I am ready to start dinner. Dinner is a whole other ball game. I'm cooking, I usually put Jaden on the computer for an hour so he can play his game. But demetrius is crying because he wants me to pick him up and I am working with a hot stove. The crying continues, The attempt to get dinner ready in a timely manner continues. I put demetrius in his chair with some crackers just to keep him quiet or a while. And of course, jaden hit something on the computer and his game is off. So he comes upstairs crying and screaming. which he does over everything when it isnt going his way. but he is getting better at it :) So I have to stop what i am chopping, stop what I am cooking, Stop everying to fix his game. When I do get dinner finished, My husband usually comes home from work at this time. Sits long enough to eat then he has to get his studies done for his test he has to take. So I march the boys upstairs to the bathtub. Try to get dinner dishes picked up ... sometimes i do, sometimes i dont., Before the kids start sounding like they are killing each other.

It really sucks not having someone i can call and say hey, I really need a couple hours to get things done, do you think you can watch the boys for a couple hours. or come over and keep me company for a while so I may regain my sanity? Days like this, when the kids are fussy and everything seems to go wrong, I could use some company, But i empty out my phone list practically every day left blank on who may be able to come over ... for my sake.

I may live in illinois, but kansas will always be my home.

And If you are one of those people who do not have kids, and see a mother struggling with her kids, give her a break! dont judge! kids change every day. Sometimes my kids are as good as anything and I get alot done, and other times i tell people they are not mine, they just follow me everywhere. :p. You dont know the story behind one's actions when you see them in the mall or at the grocery store. Let god do the judging. And dont EVER come into my house and compare me to someone else and walk away talking about how there were dishes in the sink and crumbs on the floor. I do the best I can, Instead of judging me all the time, ask what you can do to help. that is what friends and FAMILY is for.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

A condition which brings little concern. *update*

We went to the ENT Dr in OakLawn (chicago suburb). He came to the conclusion that it is a cyst. And that the core of the cyst is much deeper then what we can presently see. The redness and pussyness is the body working an infection out. So he is being put on Antibiotics after he finishes the antibiotics, He will then need a follow up. In which case they will decide if they need to do a CT scan. If a CT scan is needed, he will have it done while he is under anesthesia for his next open heart surgery. Depending on the results of the CT scan and how the Cyst is behaving, it will determine wether or not it needs to be extracted. In the case it needs to be extracted, A cardiologist (because of his heart), the ENT Doctor (for the lump) and a plastic surgeon will have to be present. the reason why a plastic surgeon would have to be involved is due to the position of the cyst, it is surrounded by facial nerves.

An update on the physical appearance of the cyst - still red, it is no longer peeling or pussing. i think his body worked alot of the infection out in his sleep (he is a belly sleepier so i am sure that helped). it is not as red and it looks much better. So this is the update, and all I know at this moment. I will inform you all of any changes.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

A condition which brings little concern.

Little concern to the DOCTORS! I'm freaking out a little bit!

Wednesday, January 6 -

AGGGGHHHH, I love my peds doctor, until these last couple of weeks, my 18 month old ( who had his first heart surgery at 6 days old and his 2nd heart surgery at 5 months) he has hypoplastic left heart syndrome and transposition of the great vessels. now has a huge lump under his jaw, (if you feel under your chin and you can push in on the other side of your bone, that is where it is at) when i say large, i mean about the size of a quarter or larger. I thought maybe it was his lympnode, well she said that it is too far up and too hard to be his lympnode, she thinks it is his jaw bone and that she is going to send us to a specialist and that they would call me the next day, no call, no call no call, i finally called her. They said they wernt sure and would call me back. In this last week it has actually increased in size, if i knew what type of specialist delt with that area, i would make an apt myself. he has another heart surgery in 6 months.

Thursday, January 7 -

Well I called again, he has an appt tomorrow to have it looked at again. I talked to the nurse, she was much more helpful, she is going to have the doctor look at it again, i asked if there was an ultrasound or an x-ray that we can do to define what is causing the lump, she said that would be a good idea. today I was playing with him and there is a red blotchy spot on the skin where the lump is, i was letting him fall back, and i would pullhim up and let him fall again, he would just giggle, but when he tosses his head back to indicate he wants to go back again, that is when i noticed the blotchiness

Friday, January 8 -

Well they took some blood and took x-rays, they think now it is his gland. We will find out the results from the tests in a couple of days.

Saturday, January 9 -

Well, The Dr called (today is her day off) To tell me that all the results to the blood work is normal, and that the radiologist suggested an MRI and a CT scan. So far the lymph-node is ruled out, the gland is ruled out, an infection is ruled out and bone distortment is ruled out. What else could be in that little spot? So, We are being referred to an ear nose and throat Doctor. So more is to come next week!

Thursday, January 21 -

Well We went to the ENT yesterday (ear nose and throat dr. ) he said it is the lymphnode, And that he has water in both of his ears (what a relief) So he is on medication and goes up for a follow up apt in 8 weeks!

Sunday, February 14 -

Hello everyone, just thought i would update on the lump.. after two weeks of medication for the lymphnode, it is still there. the skin is now becoming discolored around the spot of the lump. He has been waking up in the middle of the night the last couple of nights (and i have had to give him tylenol before bed) and tonight he woke up with a fever. i dont know how high, but i am guessing around 101 or 102 holding him made me sweat. His skin felt like it was on fire. so now it is 2:45 in the morning, i think i am going to doze off while in the recliner. He is now sleeping on the couch. Where oh where did the thermometer go?

Monday, February 15 -

Just an update on new information we recieved today.

We had an apt with dr. lewis the ENT (Ear, Nose, and Throat) doctor. The lump is now turning the skin a purple color. the medication did nothing to the lump what so ever. He had fluid in his ears the last time we seen him, and today he still had a lot of fluid. Dr. Lewis has decided the lump needs to be removed. While they will be doing surgery to remove the lump they are going to put tubes in his ears as well. After they extract the lump, they will be sending it to pathology for further investigation on what exactly it is. They are expecting to do this within the next four weeks.

Wednesday, March 10 -

So, We went in for the surgery. They put us in an ICU room. They had me put him in a little gown. We waited, and waited. We had to be there by 6am. Just to get the doctor to come in and say that neither the anastisiologist nor the head cardiologist feel comfy working on Demetrius there. They said that they were not equiped with the proper equipment or qualified personnel to treat demetrius if something were to happen. SOOOO his next open heart surgery will be this summer, They are going to remove the lump and put tubes in his ears then. Since he will be at a childrens hospital and not a community hospital. Poor little guy. Well anyways here is a pic of him while we were waiting to find out what was going on.

Wednesday, March 24 -

december, i felt the lump, about a month later it was visible and starting to look bruised, and now, it looks like this. They dont seem worried about it. My husband says that if it turns out being cancer or something serious the Dr’s are going to regret not taking it more seriously. This on top of his cardiac condition, this boy is going to do amazing things when he grows up. He has been handed one hell of a life already!

Tuesday, March 30 -

I called the Peds doctor last week. I requested a referral for an ENT Doctor who is affiliated with the children's hospital where Demetrius has his open heart surgeries. He has an Appointment on friday in Chicago. I hope we hear something!!!!!

Saturday, March 6, 2010


composure |kəmˈpō zh ər|
the state or feeling of being calm and in control of oneself : she was struggling to regain her composure.
ORIGIN late 16th cent. (in the sense [composing, composition] ): from compose + -ure .

I find myself walking mindlessly through the roads of life. At a young age we are taught that being american is to stand up for what you believe in. What you believe in makes you who you are. So when you are in the eye of the storm, you know which route to take out of the storm. Although it is easy to say, it is not exactly easy to do. Although One living in america see's these values as the way of life, The human part of one seems to take over. Although you want to stand your ground and enforce what you feel is correct, Being human also engulfs me with the feeling to please my loved ones around me, even if his or her beliefs are completely different. Does this mean someone is wrong? No it doesn't. It just means we are human. This is where compromise comes in. But then when are you compromising or letting the other person take the controls of your life. Are you wrong for trying to compromise for the fact the other person in question thinks you are running your life wrong and tries to take over? I suppose this would be the reason why wisdom comes with age. The secrets of life are only reviled through experience.