A dusting of my past

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My name is Dezarae’. i am originally from Hutchinson, Kansas. i joined the military at 17 served 4 1/2 years. The military itself was not bad, but i delt with alot concerning people in the military. I taught myself to crochet when i was twelve, havent done much until late 2008. When i crochet and knit it makes me feel like i belong to something. Its the one thing in my life that i can fix if i mess it up. I am working on slowly starting up a business which will be called Making Traditions. Making Traditions is a store for all ages and all sexes. You can learn anything from needlepoint, spinning fibers, crochet, knitting, canning, cooking, baking, vegetable gardening tips, sewing, Quilting, preserving, and freezing. Along with being a one stop shop for all these categories. The motto of my business is “making yesterday’s talents, today’s traditions”. My goal is to find a link between the past and the present to bring families of all generations together. while also providing skills which will come in handy for the rest of one’s life.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Random thoughts of nothing.

I usually like to write blogs when i have something really sticking out in my mind, It makes it easier for the passion to flow through my fingertips. Today, I have no idea what i am going to talk about or how i am going to approach it.

i suppose that the first thing that is on my mind is my 2 year old son Demetrius's third open heart surgery. It is officially scheduled for September 13, 2010. Although it is scary, I know that he will be just fine. He is very healthy for being a cardiac baby. Right now, at this very moment he is trying to steal my television remotes. he is getting mad because i keep moving them.

*after a short break*

Okay, i am back, had to get my 2 year old distracted with some noise maker toys.

I have been working on my studies for the Entrepreneurship Bootcamp for Veterans with disabilities program. Isnt it funny how no matter how hard you try to put your dreams last, they have a way of pushing their way through! I feel like this is god's way of telling me to do it! I had to submit a resume, two referral letters and do an interview for this program. I finish the online portion around Aug 25th. Then Aug 28th, i will be going to indiana to purdue university for the 2nd part of this program. I need 5 formal business outfits. I am nervous but i know that only good can come out of it.

Now for the 9 days that i am in indiana, i have asked soooo many people to help watch the kids while my husband is at work. It makes me want to pull out my hair sometimes on how much i feel like i have to beg for help. Sometimes I just wish that I had my family within driving distance, They would drop on a dime to help me out. I dont ask for help often. I guess sometimes i am still getting used to being in a family i wasnt born into.

On the other hand, I am very appreciative to my in-laws. Over the last 4 years I feel like I am starting to grow on them :P.

Sometimes it is easy to feel like life has a hold of me Im just twisting and turning with every curve it throws at me. The question often reigns in my head, "When Do i get to control my life?" I mean, I know every decision i have made in my life is what has brought me to this point in time. But when do i get to go left because i wanted to go left?

When do i get to feel like a beautiful, confidant, independent woman again? What happened to me?

Well, My show is on, and my little terror is back. So i am going to get off of here for now.

God Bless